1. I think there could be a serious problem in the society without internet. = I think there could be a serious problem in society without the internet.
 No “the” before “society.” Use “the internet.”

2. All the administration would be paralyzed in the public office and it brings a serious uncomfortableness. = All administration in public offices would be paralyzed, and it would cause serious inconvenience.
 “The administration in the public office” → smoother as “administration in public offices.” “Uncomfortableness” → “inconvenience.”

3. One thing is that we cannot use the credit card and we can only use the cash because back system is shut down. = One issue is that we could not use credit cards and would have to rely only on cash because the banking system would be shut down.
 “The credit card” → just “credit cards.” “Back system” → “banking system.” Keep conditional tense “could not/would.”

4. The other thing is about hospital. = Another issue is with hospitals.
 More natural phrasing.

5. We cannot open the information about the patient and it leads to a serious injury or circumstances. = Patient information could not be accessed, which might lead to serious injuries or dangerous situations.
“Open the information” → “access information.” “Serious injury or circumstances” → “serious injuries or dangerous situations.”

ESSAY CORRECTIONS:
I completely agree with the argument that AI will create more opportunities in the future. Many experts are worried that AI will replace human jobs, and I agree that to some extent AI can replace people. For instance, simple work such as assembling cars or furniture can be done better and faster with AI and robots. In addition, dangerous jobs can be handled by AI more safely, protecting human health. On the other hand, there are several sectors that AI cannot replace, such as judging legal cases or considering emotions. In the future, AI will take over some simple jobs, and people will move to other sectors that require complex logical thinking and judgment that considers various factors. For these reasons, I believe AI will create more opportunities for future generations than ever before.

Your essay is clear and well-structured, with convincing examples. I corrected grammar and smoothed awkward phrases. To improve, vary vocabulary and use stronger transitions. Overall, strong ideas with minor language polishing needed. Well done! Keep it up!