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What might happen if robots work in schools? |
상 태 |
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| 작성자 |
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kc7339 |
등록일 |
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2025-09-23 |
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If robots work in schools, I think it has both upsides and downsides. On the one hand, robots can do dangerous works that human can't do. On the other hand, it hinders the employment of local society.
I'm currently preparing for an English proficiency test, so I'd like to practice academic writing. Could you help me by checking not only the grammar but also the logic and coherence of my writing?
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Online learning is just as effective as traditional in-person education.
I disagree with the following statement that online learning is as effective as traditional in-person education. There are some reasons why I insist this way.
First of all, in the online environment, it is easier for students to get distracted by other things. They can easily be out of class and focus on online games, social media and even YOUTUBE. For me, although it's a little different circumstances, during COVID-19, it was hard for me to work from home becuase I have a lot to be distracted.
Moreover, in the confronting education environment, it enables students to communicate with each other. This interaction makes students understand the class lesson better and it will lead to higher efficiency in their study. According to some research about coginitive psychology, attendign the class and interaction leads students to be competitive in that field.
For these reasons, I think in-person education is way better effective than online learning. |
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On the one hand, robots can do dangerous works that human can't do. = On the one hand, robots can do dangerous work that humans can't do.
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On the other hand, it hinders the employment of local society. = On the other hand, it hinders employment in the local community.
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There are some reasons why I insist this way. = There are several reasons for my opinion.
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They can easily be out of class and focus on online games, social media and even YOUTUBE. = They can easily lose focus and spend time on online games, social media, or even YouTube.
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…during COVID-19, it was hard for me to work from home becuase I have a lot to be distracted. = …during COVID-19, it was hard for me to work from home because there were many distractions.
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Moreover, in the confronting education environment, it enables students to communicate with each other. = Moreover, in a face-to-face learning environment, students can communicate with each other.
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According to some research about coginitive psychology, attendign the class and interaction leads students to be competitive in that field. = According to research in cognitive psychology, attending class and interacting with peers help students become more competitive in that field.
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For these reasons, I think in-person education is way better effective than online learning. = For these reasons, I believe in-person education is much more effective than online learning.
Your essay is logical and organized, with clear reasons and examples. The personal experience and research reference strengthen your argument. However, transitions could be smoother, and the conclusion should restate key points, not just the opinion. Overall, it’s coherent but needs more polished flow. Great job!
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